Three Critical Cautions for Newbie International Volunteers

The assignment you wanted dropped in your lap. You’ve ticked off the final item on the equipment checklist. Your copy of the cultural orientation brochure is dog-eared from your repeated reviewing. You know the country and people. You’re ready to deploy. What you don’t know you’re missing is these three critical cautions for newbie international volunteers

I discovered the same three cultural issues existed regardless of the country or assignment. They surfaced if I was

• traveling from Los Angeles through Mexico to Belize and back for evangelism out of a retired school bus;

• enjoying a three-plus-month stint living in tents in Ethiopia to provide medical care for the tens of thousands of famine victims;

• pressing through a two-week commando-style mission in India to help Christian families after the 2004 tsunami; or

• serving for decades in West Africa to help wherever needed.

So, what are the three critical cautions for newbie international volunteers? What is it that the mission leaders let you find out for yourself?

Caution ONE: The nationals want to make you feel welcome at any cost.

This fact is demonstrated in two primary ways:

Food

 Even if the family has to go without, you will be given the very best they can find. Sometimes they purchase items they can’t afford because they think you want it.

One summer I served in Puerto Rico. I’d been invited, along with the two missionary ladies with whom I lived, to dine at the pastor’s home. The pastor ate with us at the table, but his wife and children planned to eat when we’d finished. Having been forewarned of this custom, I took care in how much I allowed on my plate.

Though I didn’t particularly want any, when the pastor asked if I’d like some ketchup, I said I would so as not to offend him. Turns out, he had to send his wife to the store to purchase the costly condiment for me.

The food issue becomes even more challenging when you are billeted with a local family for the duration of your assignment.

Our Indian family produced marvelous meals every day though their plate often held more common fare. Beans and rice would have pleased me to no end, but I never tasted this meal. Guests are expected to taste the various dishes unique to India throughout their stay.

(Note: If you see bananas or water buffalo yogurt on the table, these are wonderful soothers of the spiciest of foods. You don’t have to wait to pull the antacids out of your suitcase.)

Tip: Be cautious about food-centered conversation during cross-cultural dining.

Even if the host asks you, if it’s not on the table already, the family likely doesn’t have it.

In the same way, try to redirect any questions related to your favorite foods at home. Imagine my guilt when the following day, the smiling family produced a bowl of ice cream for my dessert.

If they ask, resist answering with what would be a luxury item for the family. Remember; they want to make you feel welcome. If you noticed the family has bananas or oranges, you could easily answer, “I love oranges. I’m so happy you have them here, too.” (Of course, if you don’t like oranges, don’t lie, but you get the idea, right?)

Advice or Opinion

For me, this is probably the most difficult aspects of cross-cultural experiences. When I ask for advice or an opinion, I really do want to know what the other person thinks.

In the interest of being polite to a guest, the nationals rarely offer their genuine opinion. He or she will answer what they think you’d like to hear.

This is especially true if you are asking what your host thinks about something you’d like to do to meet a perceived need, or fulfill a traditional obligation. He’d prefer to agree with you, rather than to offend you and risk hindering any further assistance.

When the men of our village finished the thatched roof on our round reception hut, we knew the custom dictated we prepare a meal for them. The problem: They finished the work in the month of fasting. Should we prepare a meal for them after Ramadan?

We consulted the men in charge. Together, we made the following decisions:

• Make a meal for the men who put up the thatched roof after Ramadan;

• Make spaghetti because white women don’t know how to make African sauce as well as the village wives; and

• Have the meal ready to serve at 2:00 p.m. the first Saturday after the fast.

Early the day of the feast, we prepared the spaghetti sauce using five pounds of ground beef, many cans of tomato sauce with seasoning packets, and several packages of spaghetti noodles. We’d been told not to forget the baguettes (a narrow French bread) because the people liked to put the spaghetti inside like a sandwich.

We purchased hundreds of cookies from the mining company’s commissary. The cans of powdered lemonade made gallons of the refreshing drink.

Before we filled the hut for the meal, we re-confirmed the time of the feast with the local leader. By two o’clock, we had everything in place under the thatched roof.

When none of the 134 men had arrived by three o’clock, my colleague went to ask again.

Yes, the time had been announced. The men would come. Just be patient.

Another hour passed without any diners chowing down on the food.

When 4:30 came, we decided to toss all pretense of a thank you meal for the men and just find somebody, anybody, to eat the food.

Women and children came, as well as some men of the village. When they’d eaten a second helping, we urged them to have a third.

By nightfall, most of the food had been consumed. The garbage sack remained empty. The guests all took their plates and utensils home with them.

What happened? They didn’t want to tell us that the men didn’t want us to prepare a meal for them. To say, No, would be impolite.

Tip: Learn to ask open-ended questions, and to care how you interpret the answer.

It’s not an issue of trust. You aren’t in your own country. The nationals aren’t used to your way of communicating.

In general, asking open-ended questions works better than allowing a one-word response. A yes-no answer sets the national up to expect he’ll follow your leading. He’ll rarely disagree; to do so would be impolite.

Don’t assume you are expected to follow the tribal traditions. Sometimes, it’s more of a burden than a blessing for the nationals.

In the above example, we assumed the tribe would hold us to their tradition regarding community labor. We should have approached the matter as follows: What small kindness can we do to show our appreciation for the skilled labor of the village men?

Note: The men have been well-paid for the actual work, but tradition dictates a free meal be provided, too.

The men didn’t hold us to the meal. We just assumed they did. On the other hand, to ignore the tradition altogether would offend the villagers.

If you’re in this situation, be careful how you word your open-ended question. The sad truth is that the nationals often believe that all of us coming from outside their country are filthy rich. If you just ask what can we do to show our appreciation, they may give you a sum that’ll knock you off your feet. It’d be embarrassing for both of you to refuse the request.

 

Next Thursday, the post will offer the second of the three critical cautions for newbie international volunteers. C’mon back!

If you know of anyone considering a foreign assignment, even short-term this coming summer, please share this post.

I’m interested in knowing your experiences and cautions. Feel free to share in the comments below.